"It won't be like this for long"

For me, milestones are bittersweet. I am so excited to see my daughter growing and learning, but at the same time...I want to cry just thinking about her getting older. I thought this phenomenon was just my pregnancy hormones at first. I remember one day I was driving down the road and a song came on....her father and I weren't on speaking terms at the time (long story...it was not a good time for us, but we worked it out and are better than ever)....the song was "it won't be like this for long" by Darius Rucker. I'll post the lyrics at the bottom, but basically, the song talks about his baby daughter growing up, milestones, and one day leaving. I lost it....I cried hysterically for what felt like hours. My baby wasn't even born yet and I was facing her growing up and some day leaving me. It seemed so unfair that you make this huge emotional commitment to someone, raise them the best you can, give them everything, and one day they just leave. Even now the thought of it brings a frog in my throat. Damn that song!

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5zCaRaJ-kE

Regardless...when my kid hits those amazing milestones, I am elated for her...and so proud. We raise them so that one day they can leave and be independent, productive members of society. When Olivea hits those milestones and especially when she does it ahead of the curve I just watch her amazed. But there in the back of my mind...is her one day leaving. :( When she outgrew her teeny tiny newborn clothes, I was happy because it meant the hard sleepless nights would be coming to an end, but it also meant she wasn't teen tiny anymore. I loved seeing her skinny little bitty arms reach up when something upset her...like "mom help." And those skinny limbs are have grown into chubby little rolls.

Here are some of the amazing things my daughter has accomplished in her less than 4 months of life:

Smiling

Holding up her head (she did this super early, at only a couple weeks old)

Supporting herself on her tummy, lifting her head and chest

Rolling over - at just 6 weeks! And I captured this first on video

Following objects with her eyes

Reaching for things

And more recently, she tries very hard to sit up and can almost roll from her back to her tummy...and now she giggles

It just amazes me to watch her....to see how proud she is of herself when she accomplishes something and how frustrated she gets when she just can't do something quite yet. I never was much of a video taking person until she came along...thank goodness phones have video on them now, so you are never without a recording device when a special moment arises.

Olivea has decided in the last 2 weeks that she no longer wants to sleep alone at night. Last night I was exhausted and said to her "why won't you just sleep in your own bed? Mommy needs her sleep too." And then this song came into my head...."it won't be like this for long." And when she's sleeping in her room and no longer needs mommy, I will be happy to get my sleep, but I know I will also miss the days when she was tiny and could sleep on my chest. *tear*

Lyrics: http://http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/rucker-darius/it-wont-be-like-this-for-long-25839.html