As exciting as it was having a new baby, meeting my little girl for the first time, and finally not being pregnant any more...it was and still is completely over-whelming at times. I have heard of the baby blues, but there is more to it than just feeling sad. While you're prego, you body goes through so many changes, and it has to go through a whole bunch more after you give birth. Here is some of what I experienced...hopefully it will help other new moms not feel alone.
Wanting to be super-mom, but being in too much pain to do anything - I did not think the post birth pain would last as long as it did. Maybe a couple weeks, tops, is what I thought. But for me, I was in pain for a good month or more. I kept wondering if I would ever feel better or normal. People wanted to see the baby, and I was not going anywhere...so I asked people to come to me. I could barely sit in my nice comfy living room chair. With people coming over, I wanted a clean house. This was just not happening. Between caring for a newborn, the pain, and lack of sleep, I just didn't have time to keep the place spotless. I am a huge neat freak...so this actually really bothers me. But you have to learn what is more important and give yourself a break.
Sooooooo tired - everyone said, "sleep when the baby sleeps." Sure...if you can. Between late night and early morning feedings, and just taking care of this new human, sleep becomes non-existent. If you can...get some one to take a shift for you so you can rest. You are no good to anyone without some sleep.
Feeling unattractive - while I was prego, I had no issue with how I looked. I really loved watching my belly grow. I know I was lucky to not gain a ton of weight, and the weight I did gain was baby weight. Within 2 weeks after giving birth, I was slimmer than I was before I was pregnant. This is no the case with everyone, so DO NOT pressure yourself too hard to get back into your skinny jeans. It took 9 months for your body to grow, give yourself time for everything to go back. For me though....I felt unattractive in other ways...and honestly still do. Just a couple weeks ago, I broke into tears telling Nick about how I don't feel attractive. Let me explain...while I am slimmer, my tummy is not as tight as it used to be; my boobs went from ginormo to small and saggy, my hair has been falling out like crazy, I have new wrinkles under my eyes, and I just don't feel like my man looks at me with that yearning. I don't have any advice on this. It's something I am really struggling with.
Emotional Roller Coaster - up and down, happy and sad...one minute I'm fine, the next I'm in tears. I'm hoping this evens out eventually. Seems to be worse closer to my monthly visit from Aunt Flo. And that is another thing...I could set my clock to my cycle pre-baby...now it is all over the place. I hear this is normal though. And my symptoms are worse than before. Worse cramps, headaches, nausea, and it kinda hurts...just to warn you.
Sure this stuff sounds sucky and there are other things, like feeling a bit resentful of your partner, wanting to do a million things, but not having time for them...etc. But when I'm questioning whether or not I actually am a good mom, and worrying about the 500 million things that could possibly happen to the baby...all she has to do is smile at me. At that moment I realize, nothing else matters. All my worry is for not. All my stress melts. Her smiles and giggles are reassurance that I am doing the best I can, and she's happy....that's what matters.
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